Shoes ~ The Fight Chooses You

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Where can you go without shoes? Pretty much.. nowhere. Working as a business professional for many years, I adored and loved women’s dress shoes. Matching outfit after outfit with purse and shoes and jewelry, sheer happiness. How fun to go into the closet and have so many options. Different color, design, function and style. Heaven on earth. And oh, let the seasons change, and there is another selection in the wings just waiting to be strutted about. A special social function such as a wedding – brought sheer joy. Bring out the bling, the oooo-la-la and knock ’em dead shoe! Too much fun.

If I may say so myself, women walk different in a heeled dress shoe. There is a change in the structure of the hips and legs that brings out every women’s inner cougar. Of course we know this. It changes our attitude about how we look as a female, sexy, alluring, stylish and even powerful. Can not think of a man that does not appreciate our inner cougar being pranced about in such grace and style. I love shoes. All kinds. Boots, clogs, sandals, dress shoes, play shoes, tennis shoes, wedges, on and on.

It’s not due to age, however that certainly will take a toll on your feet the longer and longer a woman insists on wearing a dress heeled shoe. Of course there will eventually be problems. Mostly fixable ones (at least we hope). But for me.. since the RSD/dystrophy first showed up in my body, placing itself directly into my feet – it remains the part of my body that has been hit the hardest. And the longest. Thus, causing the most damage. Nerve damage that can not be repaired. Atrophy of muscle tissue. Spasms. Contractions. Temperature and skin color changes. Extreme sensitivity. As a doc once said to me – we can not rebuilt your feet!!  He is right. Even if it were possible, RSD means surgery only in an emergency due to fear of additional pain (is this possible?) and spread. My feet might tolerate this shoe or that shoe, but no two days are ever the same. One shoe may work for hours one day, the next day not so much.  In that moment, when time is up (this happens in an instant) I can not get the shoes off fast enough. There is no waiting til I get home or to the car. Over to where I can sit down. Oh, no no no. Immediate means just that. Take them off. Now.

It goes without saying that the days of wonderful shoe wearing are gone. Mostly anyway. Those days are replaced with two or three pairs (if I am lucky) that may not be to my fashion liking, but are approved by my feet. They may not even be appropriate weather wear. Not the best way to pick out footwear. No matching outfits. No color coordination. Heels are definetely thing of the past. In fact, I cringe now when I see them. Or at least seeing them brings the thought to mind of how painful it would be for me to struggle to take a step or two. My love of shoes… right out the window. Have had dreams of wearing shoes, shopping for shoes, matching shoes with outfits. Being my old self, feeling normal. Only dreams.

My new thing? Slippers of course. Practical house slippers. Slippers for warmth. Silly slippers that make me smile. Slippers that have hard soles that can pass for shoes while I am out in public. Slippers. That may sound like a simple solution, sometimes it is. Other times it can be just like shoes. My feet will revolt in a bad slipper just as easily. Fortunately, the expense of slippers does not equal the expense of shoes. It has not been easy letting my feet dictate to me what it is I must wear. But in all honesty how long can you go on battling your feet?  Not long, not very long at all. Feet will always win. Always.

“Be sure to put your feet in the right place. Then stand firm”   ~ Abraham Lincoln

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About Leslie Kay

Life and RSD warrior, sarcoidosis fighter and new blogger enthusiast. Lover of... a great cup of coffee. Let's tell stories. Born in Saginaw, MI USA but raised in Lincoln, NE and Norman, OK. Have lived and worked in many states, including Florida and North Carolina. Currently reside in Texas, USA Attended the University of Oklahoma, and have worked for hospital's as a nurse tech and pharmacy tech. Medical waste field as inside and outside sales of bio-hazardous waste disposal. Am a daughter, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a friend, a good neighbor. A true lover of life and animals.Spiritual.Devoted. Love nature. Adore the ocean. Like to consider myself somewhat of an activist in today's very confusing political times. A champion of RSD/CRPS and related causes, and those effected by this disease.
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